If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
