a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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