Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
