I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
