The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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