I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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