i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
