Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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