Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
