whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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