I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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