In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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