i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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