Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
