Pappa wants mamma naked
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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