I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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