Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
