Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
