am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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