You're so nebulous sometimes
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
