After last night, I could never be a politician.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
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I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
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i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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