Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
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she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
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Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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