The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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