yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
