I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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