wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
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I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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