toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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