Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
