were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
