I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
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Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
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He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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