I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
