Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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