i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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