An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
