Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
