You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
