***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
