Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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