Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
