He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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