don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
