I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
