The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
