they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
