This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
