Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
