STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
