How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize