he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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