Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize