i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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