Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
