Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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