Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
