hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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