Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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