god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
