It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Be still, my beating vagina.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Let's get the cat blown out
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
