we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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