Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
